After six years as assistant head of lower school (basically assistant principal), I am starting this year as the interim head of lower school in the same building. In many ways, I feel as prepared for the role as I possibly can be. Of course there are new things to learn, but our previous head of lower school was an incredible mentor and gave me insight that I know is not always provided to those in my previous position. She also gave me a challenge that forced me to take an important first step in defining who I am now and who I want to be as I take on this new role. The challenge was simple enough.

Reintroduce yourself to the community.

For all the summer work I was doing, this became surprisingly more difficult as I came to my self-prescribed due date. I expected the small challenges of editing the school handbook and bigger challenges of determining top priorities for our lower school this year – it is really hard to narrow it down to just a few. This challenge, however, felt the most daunting.

While I knew I needed to take on this challenge, even wanted to, seeds of doubt presented themselves. First, do I need to? They all kind of know me, but they’ve only known me as a teacher or assistant, not as the head of the lower school. Second, what is different about me? In the biggest ways, nothing except the title. In other, very obvious ways, I will be the one making critical decisions rather than just sharing my input. I felt that pressure within the first few days of officially taking on the new title.

A few things helped me move forward. I had the rules and constraints I needed.

1. You have to re-introduce yourself to your families.
2. You can’t start with the line, “my name is Hove, H to the O-V.”
3. You can’t write too much, so focus on a few critical points

I also knew that I had to start by defining for myself who I would be in this new position.

Fortunately, I joined Danny Bauer and about 50 other school leaders in Denver in the middle of July for the Better Leaders Better Schools Live Event. One activity in particular helped me gain the traction that I was missing before I left. We did a simple activity called Top 5. We had to write down and then share the 5 most important things about ourselves that others should know. It was like many other opening/get-to-know-you activities, but helped me start narrowing down what I wanted to share with my families. With only 5 items in a list and a short time to share them, you boil things down quickly.

I narrowed in on my family, how I define myself as an educator, and what I love to do, with the latter focused on how those activities demonstrate my values. I did not use everything from my Top 5 in my message to families, but it guided me to a much clearer message than I had before the trip.

Aside from helping me with my message, the activity stood out as something I should be doing regularly. Our Top 5 should change over time. Our definition of who we are, in our career, in our family, or just as humans, should change at least slightly as we figure out who we really are. They also hopefully become more consistent as we hone in on the most important values in our lives. Whether it is simply taking time to reflect and reaffirm your core, or redefining it, this is an activity we should repeat consistently. We shouldn’t wait until a career, title, or life change to look at these core values.

I would encourage you create your own top 5. You can also ready my message to families below if it might help you in some way. Maybe you want to reintroduce yourself to your class, your colleagues, or a new group you are joining.

What is your Top 5? If you were to share only 5 things about yourself to others, what would they be, what would those statements say about you?

Dear Families,

I hope that you have had a wonderful summer so far and plenty of time with friends and family. I have been thinking for a while now about how to reintroduce myself, now as the Interim Head of Lower School at Wilmington Friends. While many of you know me as the Assistant Head and some of you knew me as a teacher, I wanted to tell you a bit more about myself and my vision for guiding the lower school. 

I have been incredibly fortunate to spend almost 30 years at Wilmington Friends School. Prior to being hired as the Assistant Head of Lower School six years ago, I spent 11 years as a lead home base teacher, nine of them in third grade. I was also fortunate enough to attend Wilmington Friends from 5th through 12th grade and felt like this community helped me grow as a person in ways that I would not have been able to elsewhere. While I didn’t recognize it while I was here as a student, that experience shaped who I have become as an educator today. 

I confidently define myself as a Quaker educator. I try to live out the testimonies each day, but two elements guide me most directly in my work –– “peace” and “continuing revelation.” A great deal of what I focus on is creating a more peaceful environment in the lower school so that our students can create a more peaceful future for the world. That work can look like conflict resolution on the playground or a thoughtful conversation with families. It can be reshaping the curriculum or reading picture books that help us think differently and gain perspective about the world around us.

“Continuing revelation” captures the essence of lifelong learning. This practice balances the ability to share our knowledge and understanding, all the while knowing that there is more to learn and a greater truth to seek. It encourages me to practice and model for students and colleagues the careful listening, curiosity, and reflection necessary to learn and grow every day. 

I am consistently looking for the wisdom of others, especially other educators, and this pearl was recently shared with me. It is a quote from a 9th grader reflection on the purpose of school, shared by the student’s teacher:

“The purpose of school is not just to learn, but to become a better human being. Sure, you also need to know your math and history facts. But the point of school is to gain skills like compassion, self-awareness, organization, and kindness. That is a teacher’s ultimate goal.” – From Shannon Johnsen, English Teacher

Via Edutopia

One of the most significant opportunities I’ve had at Wilmington Friends is watching students grow from our littlest friends in preschool through graduation and beyond. Whether it has been coaching middle and high school sports or traveling with them as a chaperone, I have seen them becoming better people. This summer in Japan, I saw students wearing traditional Japanese clothing, trying unique foods and drinks, shuffling through the busy streets of Tokyo, and thinking deeply about a bigger world than they understood before their journey. 

Lower school teachers know it is our job to build a strong social, emotional, and academic foundation for our students. It is also our job to create a community filled with peace and joy. That strong foundation and community starts with great relationships and is built on communication. For every member of this community, I hope to make honest, heartfelt connections, to learn from your wisdom, and to share my own. There will be many opportunities to connect throughout this school year and build these positive relationships, and you should always feel comfortable reaching out to ask a question or share your thoughts.

Welcome to the 2023-24 school year, and thank you for the opportunity to work with you and your children. The simple act of writing these words makes me feel blessed and more fortunate than I’ve ever been. 

In friendship,
Chris Loeffler